Lyricool Liturgy Blog

Two vvomen almost k!lled me today  I had a terrible experience on Keke NAPEP today.  At the close of work this evening, I took a ride back home but unfortunately two very voluminous homosapiens flanked the ride and abruptly ended my jolly ride.  One of them had mammary glands larger than my head and thighs big enough to create two of me.  I almost suffocated because the women were like *matter, they occupied space and pressed me against the godforsaken vehicle. The one seated next to us had a malodorous whiff oozing from her inner arm.  Just when I was about to give up and drop from the tricycle and look for another one, they asked the rider to stop because they had reached their destination.   I got a breath of fresh air when they alighted but by then I was almost dying.  As soon as the rider rode off, he apologized to me but I was irritated.  The following dialogue ensued between I and him.  Rider: Oga sorry oh. Those women...

The devil will stop at nothing until he normalizes the gay culture and debilitates the natural order of sexuality. He is using every tool necessary to ferociously push the rainbow agenda, be it via; politics, pop culture, education and new beliefs.  In his shrewd nature, he is currently utilizing pop culture and media to lead the rainbow crusade and he's fearlessly advancing.  Have you ever wonder why and how your favourite shows would find a way of chipping in or portraying gay or lesbian characters? it's all a scheme to make it look normal and gain sympathy for it.  He (the devil) is very aware that repeatedly portraying and glamorising LGBTQ characters on popular TV shows and movies will gradually begin to register it as normal in our subconsciousness, and we'd begin to accept it.  Our little ones are not spared too, because it's gradually being imported into kiddies' cartoons and movies.  All that we've known and been taught, our moral values, traditions, st...

America thrives on propaganda and the misfortunes of others to remain relevant. I know you may argue this but before you do, have you ever wondered why America or Americans are always the heroes in movies and others like Arabs, Russians, Vietnamese, Chinese, Koreans, Africans etc. are always the villains? Every week scores of gun violence-related crimes occur but it's hardly circulated in mainstream media, why? your guess is as good as mine.  Movies or shows also called PROGRAMS are designed to make America look good in the eyes of the world and make others look bad or weak.  Have you ever wondered why American troops take wars to other nations yet no foreign troops are allowed in their land? Russia and Ukraine are still at war, guess who instigated the conflict? America and NATO! Normally in movies, a handful of American redheads (mercenaries), CIA agents or black ops would go on a covert mission. They'd fly and descend to a deserted location in Russia and then t...

The Church is no place for comic relief. Even as believers, it's important that we sometimes take breaks from all our serious activities and whatnot and unwind, but the church is not a platform for comedians.    I often see posters of comedy programs that are scheduled to hold in a church and I wonder how and why we got here. We craze creativity in the church to the extent that we invite comedians and clowns to bemuse us. In a bid to be hilarious and wow the crowd (or congregation) in a language and terms they can relate to, these comedians go as far as saying some sacrilegious stuff to the amusement of the audience.  They say obscene stuff about our Lord, patriarchs, scripture, mode of worship or heroes of our faith just to create comic relief yet we laugh like drunkards instead of rebuking them.  Not that I'm against comedians or their crafts, Nope. I fancy their creative acumen and I must confess it's not easy to crack a joke and get people laughing. C...

In a bid to serve awesome content and to bring boombap back, outta the box Nigerian CHH rappers, Lyricool Liturgy and Vincee join forces to deliver nothing less than great lyricism laced with the truth. Boombaptism is a systematic theology put to a rhythm. The word “Boombaptism” is a portmanteau of Boombap and Baptism. Boombap is the unadulterated style of rap while Baptism means public identification with Christ Jesus. The song Boombaptism would be released in Volumes featuring prolific CHH Boombap emcees. stream

I remember when I and my friend wrote NDA examination in 2011. On the day of the examination, the invigilator, a Military Officer caught some candidates coping each other in the hall.  I thought he'd severely punish those caught cheating but he looked at them and laughed.  "If you like photocopy each other's work. Only 5 people will be shortlisted from each State.  Amongst other things, how influential your dad is will also determine if you'll make it or not." he bluntly said.  His words echoed in my mind and i was seriously forlon and discouraged. My dream of becoming a Military Officer was dashed but when I got home, I cheered up and prayed for a miracle.  My guy had high hopes because his elder sister, one fine runs girl like that, knew one top military officer. The man assured her that her kiddo will get shortlisted  🤗  Rumours had it that she paid him in kind and in styles.  Few weeks later, it was announced on radio that NDA had...

𝙔𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙊𝙠𝙖𝙛𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙡𝙖𝙬 excerpt from "𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒆'𝒔 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒃𝒊" an unpublished novel by Samuel Thomas Jr. As soon as he subtly touched her, her body and hormones betrayed her. Passionate kisses and caresses ignited the wild fire of  adultery.  "I still love you Omawumi. Nothing has changed." Charles whispered into her ears and planted a kiss on her forehead. This made her feel special and loved again.  They both knew what they were doing was wrong. She wanted to stop, he wanted to stop too, but they were enthralled. Before they knew it, they were panting and engrossed in hot steamy sex. Apparently, she would have quickly headed home to her husband as soon as she could but Charlie's warmth embrace made her linger for some more. It's obvious that she'd rather stay were she's loved and revered than head home to toxicity.   She laid beside him and robbing his chest affectionately, his heartbeat g...

The way to the lecture theater was marauded with 100 level students of the faculty of Biological Sciences . Few seconds after I and Oluwaseun settled down, the lecturer got in and locked the entrance.  "Good morning class" the lecturer greeted.  "Good morning sir" some of us chorused while others shouted,  "Good morning uncle.."  "I want to set a record straight.  Listen and listen carefully.  I see that some of you are clowns here, well, my class is not a circus.  Once I'm in this class no one comes in or leaves, except I permit him/her to do so. The moment you are seated in my class, I become the Alpha and Omega.  If you are here to waste your time, then waste yours not mine or that of your serious course mates.  I'll make life hard for all the hard guys and hard babes. Flow with me and we'll all be fine.  Your parents or sponsors paid your tuition fees so that you'd pay attention, listen and learn, but you don't have...

 Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you about my journey up north - Katsina to write an examination in a night bus.  It was when Boko Haram started. I was the only Christian on the bus. Deep into our voyage, someone at the back seat started a conversation about religion. I got really scared when I discovered we had extremists on board. They said very awful stuff.  But someone in the bus opposed them, he was their brother. They shut him up and threatened to slay him beside the road if he dared say anything.  I sat quietly with my tail between my legs,  silently praying and hoping that my looks or inability to speak Hausa fluently (then) won't betray me.  "What if they ask you, who are you?" I asked myself. "Will you lie and deny your true identity?" When we got to Malumfashi at about 10:00pm, I was stranded because I didn't know my way and the network was so bad that I couldn't reach my host.  To make things worse, my phone's battery ran down (you...

When I was in primary 4 I had a best friend who was a bully in every sense of the word. He bullied younger students, his classmates and even some senior students.  I, his best friend was not exempted too. He often bullied and coarsed me to dash him my stuff or allow him copy my assignments.  If I told you he bullied some staff of the school too, you'd think that I'm making this up,  but it's the truth. 🙄 Our school was a mission school ran by Catholic priests who made sure morals and high standards were upheld with utmost seriousness. Despite all that, Steven was subtle and had his way around.  There was a Saturday we went to school for drama rehearsals and after it, we played football until we became tired and hungry.   When we got to the school's main gate, Steven greeted the security on duty and told him to give us money to buy biscuits and zobo. just like that? 🤷 I was amazed at Steven's effontry. He demanded the money as if the man were his pa...

There was this beautiful girl in my class. I liked her so much and the feeling was mutual. We shared a lot in common and often spent time together. We were study partners too and anytime she comes to my place, she'd sometimes help me cook, iron or do the dishes. Staying hours without seeing or talking to each other stirred boredom.  I willingly shared my stuff with her and she cheerfully did the same. We were partners in crime too like Bonnie and Clyde .  To this effect, no matter how I swore to my roommate, my friends or course mates they never believed that we were just friends. They called us " Adam and Eve " because of how inseprable we were.  Truth be told, I didn't love her, I only liked her as a  friend or sister, but as I got to know her more and more, she earned a special spot in my heart.  Instead of asking her out I was busy being her friend. I became like the brother she never had, and would counsel and share my experiences with her whe...

A Shocking Story.... As I stood at the junction impatiently waiting for a Keke to board, a funny looking fellow walked up to me and waved some portions. He claimed they were medicines and knowing too well that it'd either be some aphrodisaic or local viagra , I frawned and told him that I don't understand Hausa.  Instead of leaving, the dude offered the stuff for a token. He even boasted that his herbs work well and it might even make me look for him to buy some more. His persistence was spiteful because I was running late for a meeting, Keke was not forthcoming and the tenacious babalawo was becoming a nag.  As soon as I saw a bus going to town, I jumped on it and said some profound words in Hausa to the harberlist. He was awestruck that I understood and spoke Hausa language fluently. I laughed and waved at him as the bus moved on.  Omo I was happy seeing how shocked the Babalawo guy was 🤣🤣  I SHOCK AM !  Well, when we got to U/Sarki, the bus con...

Frontline Christian Rapper and Apologist Nomad  wrote an enlightening and insightful article on the insidiousness of Sports Betting  his social media handle. The post reads;  I was heart stroke yesterday when I heard of a guy by the name  DANIEL AYUBA MARK who we  happen to live in the same city of KADUNA , who committed suicide after he allegedly lost over one million five hundred thousand naria (₦1,500,000) to sport betting . I have studied sport betting for about three years personally because of the menace I saw it was causing in the society , my mentor will always say " LEARN THE RULES BEFORE YOU PLAY THE GAME " either in business or what ever venture. So, with the high rate of betting shops springing up, curiosity made me to pick interest on sport betting and how the book makers present their odds. The betting platforms have different strategies; VIRTUAL ( kalu kalu )- where you play and get your money instantly within minutes if not seconds,...

I saw my ex and her husband at the mall with their baby today. They even wore matching outfits. 🙆 Ahswear the pikin ugly, his father's genes must be so strong. 😒 I was by the counter waiting for my fiancée to finish picking up some stuff when I saw Angelica.  Immediately Angelica saw me she started smiling and whispered something to her husband. He looked at me, smiled, and nodded.  It was conspicuous that we were happy to see each other after a very long time. The last time we had a chat was when she put to bed. I was away in New Jersey attending a Tech conference when I saw the naming ceremony pictures on her WhatsApp status and I congratulated her.  When Angelica and her husband got to the counter, I shook her husband's hand but gave a generous bear hug to his wife. It lasted for two minutes. I would have planted a kiss on her forehead but she's married now.  Awkward! 🙄 Gush... I miss her voluptuous udders. They are still galant and fluffy even afte...

Listen to new message titled " The Kingdom " by D'Waters visionary leader Dr Felix Idoko also known as Flixzo. Listen and be blessed 🔥🔥🔥 Download

Soul. Symphony. Stitches. These were the sinews of your core, Mama. They formed the nitty gritty of your entirety. You. The mast that kept my ship sailing. I miss coming back from playing in the evenings to be welcomed by the aroma of your famous ofada stew simmering happily in the pot Grandma gifted you when you married. I still bury my head in your pillow just to get a whiff of your opulent scent; a perfect blend of flowers and musk. Oh how you laughed so beautifully as you watched us play tag with Papa! It was soothing music to my soul. The perfect Africana you were, with a brown skin that glistened proudly from daily use of 'ori' and an Afro that sat like a crown on your head. Today while you laid still in the coffin, the women of Isale Eko sang your praise as they showed off the clothes you'd sewn for them over the years. I will hold onto the memories of you sewing on your rickety sewing machine as you hummed to Fela's "Zombie" playing on the ...

It was my first time visiting this community.  I had gone there in search of a Life. Took a stroll out one evening and came by this beautiful lady, she was exceptionally beautiful, i couldn't resist staring at her for such a long while i did stare. I became interested in her, did my findings and i learnt the neighbourhood referred to her as the BEST Designer they had ever met within and outside the community Woah!  Getting to her took me days but then Luck found me and soon we became great friends.  From a crush she turned a Friend, and from a friend she became a reflection of my heart. In Seun Rhema's voice: She is my definition of real beauty, a designer endowed with great fashion sense. From an #Old movie😉😘 © Beloved Empress  📷:  Seun Rhè-má   From #OldMovie Challenge 

If after reading posts and commentaries by disgruntled females cum feminists you become one and start posting toxic and unbalanced opinions on your socials, I laugh at you because of how naive and easily flummox you are.  I know a feminist whose dad was a deadbeat. He abused her mom at the slightest provocation and hits his kids too. He later abandoned his wife for another woman and left them to suffer.  Being the first child, she had to do odd and obscene gigs to survive. As she grew older she met men who showered her with love only to use and dumb her at the end. Thus, she became hardened and bitter towards the men.  I never judge such women because their bitterness is justifiable, but I pray that they heal and stop being mad at all men. Not all men did them wrong.  If your father is/was loving, caring and supportive to you, your mom and siblings why become bitter towards men?  If a man uses and dumbs you, does it mean all men are scums?  We ...

Dear Nigerian Chef,  What does Spaghetti, Pizza, Lasagne, Gelato, Mozzarella have in common?  Answer: They are all Italian foods and their names remain Italian despite global appeal.  What I'm trying to point out here is; that they didn't try to colonise their cuisines to get English names. Unlike we Nigerians who try so hard to change the identities of our stuff by giving them funny and annoying English names.  For Godsake what the heck is; beans cake, Cassava flakes or Grain o' fibres, Tofu, Barbecue plantain, Peanut bars, Beans pudding or Beef crackers? Akara, Garri, Awara, Kunun Zaki, Zobo, Fufu, Boli, Kuli Kuli, Moin Moin, Akamu, Ewa Agonyin, Kilishi, Waina, Massa etcetera are what they are and it is what it is. Let our delicacies carry their original identity.  Ghanaians chefs don't go around trying to Christian Banku, Waakye, Kelewele, Tuo Zaafi or even their famed Ghana Jollof other than the traditional names they're known as so as to sound classy. ...

Rapper Kwanie Babangida wrote an end of the year advice to his social media followers this morning on his Facebook.  The exceptional rapper wrote: The challenges and problems faced by people are largely created by them You spend all your earnings to purchase expensive clothes just to impress people and fall into depression when all you have is your clothes You rent a house that is far above your income because you want to show off In the end, you struggle with the payment or your house rent You find it hard to be of help to people around you and they call you stingy because you have given them the idea of being the wealthy person that you are not I am by no means kicking against living comfortably rather, i am advocating for it You can live in a cheaper house and have enough money to eat better food and have the capacity to extend help to people around you Do not build a standard you can not maintain because it may lead to depression Funny as it may, people may not be ...