Two vvomen almost k!lled me today

Two vvomen almost k!lled me today 

I had a terrible experience on Keke NAPEP today. 

At the close of work this evening, I took a ride back home but unfortunately two very voluminous homosapiens flanked the ride and abruptly ended my jolly ride. 

One of them had mammary glands larger than my head and thighs big enough to create two of me. 

I almost suffocated because the women were like *matter, they occupied space and pressed me against the godforsaken vehicle. The one seated next to us had a malodorous whiff oozing from her inner arm. 

Just when I was about to give up and drop from the tricycle and look for another one, they asked the rider to stop because they had reached their destination. 

 I got a breath of fresh air when they alighted but by then I was almost dying. 

As soon as the rider rode off, he apologized to me but I was irritated. 

The following dialogue ensued between I and him. 

Rider: Oga sorry oh. Those women fat well well and I see as dem press press you like bread. 

Me: Sorry for yourself. Why you no talk when dem dey? (I asked feeling pissed off) 

Rider: Customer dey always right oga. I no want make dem vex.

Me: Customers are always right... chochocho. 

So me I don't have right abi? 🙄

Rider: Oga you be man na.

Me: Man keh you there 

"Id!ot, son of a motherless goat" I added, in my mind. 

I don't blame them, I blame Desmond Elliot, if not for that guy I for don buy my car by now. 

Good evening folks. How did your day go?